Thoughts on grace #1

There is a difference between: "There is nothing I CAN do" & "There is nothing I NEED TO do". The first is a statement of helplessness but the second is a picture of sufficiency. To me that sums up the grace of God because there is nothing I can do to be reconciled with Him but thankfully Jesus has done everything that was needed.

Thoughts for artists #1

If you apply to play at a festival make sure you understand that when hundreds of applications are being processed probably only the first bit of the first track or two (on the CD or Myspace site etc.) is going to be listened to so I recommend...

• Avoid looooooooooooong introductions before you get into the song
• Make sure the first track is your best track
• The first couple of tracks should be really representative of who you are
• The first track should be really catchy
• If you want to demonstrate diversity make sure the 'slower' stuff is at least the 2nd or 3rd song
  

How on Earth did I end up here?

I didn't really plan to write anything about the recent Michael Guglielmucci situation - if you were living under a rock & don't know what I am talking about just Google it as every man & his dog has already blogged about it! I didn't know Mike personally so had no intention on thinking anyone needed to hear my 2 cents worth on it all but it did spark a significant thought process for me which I am keen to put into words.

When the story first broke in the news I was as dumbfounded as everyone else - how could such a huge charade be maintained for such a long time even to a person's closest family & friends? Watching footage of Mike singing 'Healer' at the Hillsong album recording I could imagine him standing in front of those thousands of people & thinking to himself: "How on Earth did I end up here?"

The revelation that Mike had struggled for years with pornography helped me start to make sense of it all. I can imagine the fear of being 'caught out' in this sin as the son of a high profile AOG pastor. Fear of the shame, fear of the embarressment it would cause to his family...fear that may well have led to a pattern of deception to make sure no one found out as it may well have seemed far too hard to be honest about the issue with anyone who might have been able to help.

King David faced a similar situation. He didn't wake up one morning & decide he felt like murdering a man to take his wife. He woke up & innocently walked onto the roof of his home (okay palace!) where he found the view was more than he bargained for. At that point David had a choice - turn away & go downstairs for breakfast, or take just one more peek at the naked girl bathing next door. Read 2 Samuel 11 for the full story!

I don't believe Mike Guglielmucci woke up one day & decided to fake having cancer for 2 years, but sin & deception are insidious bed fellows. I hope I can continually ask myself what 'little' sins I am harbouring in my life that seem harmless but if left unchecked could lead to me one day thinking to myself: "How on Earth did I end up here?"

God is never late...

It has been nearly 2 months since we moved into our new house and all I can say is that God is SO good, and He is so much better at knowing what I need than I am. It is so easy to talk the talk about trusting God & knowing that He has everything under control but the question is: do I really believe it?

We had about two months to look for a new house after finding out that we had to get out of the last place & throughout that process we had to keep on reminding ourselves that our trust was in God. The last time we went through this process God waited until pretty much the last moment on the last day that we had up our sleeves to lead us to the place He had prepared for us but when it finally came we were very happy for the two years we lived there.

I have often joked that "God is never late...but He has missed some awesome opportunities to be early" and this time was no exception as we were only a week or two from having to move and the rental demand was obviously very high. Because of that we ended up applying for a house that met our needs but I hadn't really fallen in love with...and we got it!

I was trying to be thankful but to be honest was a bit disappointed and wrote the following in my journal on July 7: "Thankyou for our new house Lord Jesus. You know that in a way it feels like it has fallen short of the MIRACLE HOUSE I have been believing for...but I say thankyou regardless..."

Exactly 3 weeks later I wrote this: "THANKYOU Jesus for our house...I am sorry for questioning your provision for us - this house is proving to be heaps better for our family than I could have realised..." I have no doubt (now) that God prepared this house for us and that it suits us, our needs & circumstances, far more than our 'wish list' could have guaranteed.

The truth is that while I was wishing that God wouldn't wait until the last minute He knew that had He shown us this house earlier, when I still had time to think I could find something 'better', I almost certainly wouldn't have applied for it at all. It is one thing for us to say we trust God, and maybe intellectually we do, but often our actions & feelings suggest that our hearts are not quite so convinced.

Me & blogging take 2!

I think it was about 18 months ago that I first put my hand to blogging (on Myspace at the time) and managed a grand total of ONE post...impressive hey? Anyway I have decided to try again, I don't know who if anyone would be interested in reading my ramblings (hence the name of the blog!) but more than anything I just like the idea of the process for my own sake.

Maybe I can manage more than one this time...

The star of the show (a flashback)

This was a post I put on Myspace from Feb 07 when I first tried to motivate myself in the world of blogging pretty unsuccessfully. I thought I would consolidate on my new blog now that I am trying again...

Last Sunday night I was worshipping God from the back of a crowd of 15,000 people under the starry skies of the New Zealand countryside. I was hanging at Parachute Festival & the experience included all the trappings (fancy lights, big stage, superscreens!) plus Third Day leading the worship. It was a great time & I really felt like I connected with God.

Last night I was again worshipping God but this time there was about 15 people from the worship team at Toowoomba City Church (which I have just joined) and we were being led by Evan Shelton with an unmiked piano, a dodgy vocal mic & the song words courtesy of an OHP (that's 'over head projector' for those of you too young to remember!).

What really struck me in the middle of our worship last night was that the most magnificent aspect of my worship experience from last Sunday night was also the case last night - we were in the presence of our amazing living creator God. The truth is that all the fancy production & big crowds in the world cannot begin to reflect the nature of the one we worship, sometimes I think they are actually just a distraction.

Doing what I do it can be so easy to get caught up in the trappings but last night I was reminded again that all that really matters is our hearts connecting with Jesus.

Daddy...Daddy...I neeeeeeed you Daddy!

This is what I heard echoing through the halls of our new house while reading my Bible in the sunroom this morning not long before I needed to head off to work. It was Josh, my 3 and a half year old boy, he was looking for his Dad - he NEEDED his Dad - and he was making it clear for the whole world to know.

Somehow there was an unmistakable sense of trust in his voice. Joshy just knew that "with Dad" was a safe place to be. It reminded me yet again that this is exactly how God wishes we would approach our relationship with Him.

A few months ago Ness & I had been away from the kids for a few days and I took Rachel (our 6 year old) with me to band practice before church on a Sunday morning. Rachi sat watching throughout rehearsal and as I was coming off stage she leapt off her chair, ran up to me, threw her arms around my legs & squeezed for all she was worth.

There was no hint whatsoever of any uncertainty as to whether or not she would be received. It was a no holds barred expression of her love & trust with all the passion she could muster. At the time it again struck me that this is how God would love for us to approach Him.

Hebrews 10:19 talks about us walking right up to God without hesitation, right into the holy place that before Jesus cleared the way for us with His sacrifice was inaccessible to us. Jesus told his disciples: "Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." (Mark 10:15, The Message)

Last night I had just finished disciplining Teagie (our oldest at 8 years old) for something when she sat right back down next to me on the couch & snuggled in close for a cuddle. It struck me again how different that is to how I sometimes approach God when I have fallen short of what I know is his best for me.

So often I feel like I need to self-impose a period of separation, usually in line with how bad I rate my failure. Meanwhile God is just wishing that I would make it right with Him & press in close again, safe in the knowledge that His love for me is complete. I need to learn to be less intellectual & 'adult' about how I approach God when He is feeling distant & I don't know where he is. To simply stand still & cry out...

"Daddy...Daddy...I NEED you Daddy!"